Affection and Love

On the desk lay the family happiness, the only family happiness. This was taken at the beginning of this year and is what parents always wanted. I took it to Hainan, a remote place. I’ve been carrying it with me before, but now I’ve put it where I can see it best. Watching every day, I always told myself to love my family, which is my eternal root and the destination of my fate..     Yes, I can’t forget that moth who conceived in octobe, who cultivated my father with her, and who raised my grandpa and grandma, and who told me not to forget the kindness of raise, and my favorite brother and sister who was very kind to me.. The family I grew up in for 20 years, but why should I stay at home as a reward? Why should I choose between affection and love? How should I choose these two immeasurable feelings?     I thought today was grandpa’s 81st birthday. I sent a text message to my father and uncle early in the morning asking them to say happy birthday to grandpa on my behalf, but it was only later that I found it was tomorrow. I was so confused that I didn’t even know what day it was today. I hurriedly sent a message to uncle saying it was tomorrow.. After a long time, my uncle sent me a message and said, ” Grandpa said,” As long as you have a grandfather’s birthday in your heart, it shows that they have paid off their efforts. This is a feeling of gratitude. I am happy that you can do this. Grandpa has eight children and then has so many grandchildren, all grandchildren, only you. This is commendable. ”. I remember everyone’s birthday at home, the size of your clothes, the size of your shoes and what you like to eat. All this is because I care about you. I love this family. However, over the years, I have not been happy in this home because we seldom talk and lack communication. As long as everyone asks me if I will stay at home, my mother will cry if I don’t give an answer.. If you give a vague answer, you will cry. If you give a positive answer, you will cry even if you don’t stay at home, and even think of drinking pesticides.. How sad is it for me?     Mother said that because she gave birth to two daughters, she suffered a lot and her sister married again, she suffered a lot of injustice and would cry when she was ok, fearing that others would know, she had to cry secretly.. What about me?? Who should I tell about my grievance? When I was still in high school, you had been instilling ideas in my mind. I didn’t sleep at ease all night and I would cry, especially when I was in the middle of the night hiding in the quilt..     At the end of last year, when you asked me to go on a blind date, I went on a blind date. When you asked me to give up my studies and come to him, I gave up my studies and came to him. I tried my best to treat him well, but he ignored me. When you asked me to give up, I gave up.. Now he finds out that I am well. If you want to look back, you will ask me to look back and ask me to take him home and start a family and career.. I should go home? For a moment I said I should have self-esteem and for a moment I would listen to my parents. I… Really tired, very tired.     I fell in love with a soldier. You said you didn’t understand him, but you didn’t even give you a chance to understand him. Just’ slap him and kill him. Uncle said that soldiers are not bad, but most of them are bad. They are cheating on their feelings. You should not go to the wrong way.. Don’t you believe that I found a good man in that small part? I believe he is good. Although we have only been together for four months today, I have seen his inner kindness and the soul of a soldier who is fighting for the country and training hard.. There is a country where there is a home, and there is love where there is a home. Why do you deny a soldier who defends the country, a soldier who can give his daughter love? Just because he can’t be our door-to-door son – in – law? Just because the daughter will marry for him?     These days, you have been calling me, texting, chatting about QQ, uncle, father, mother, sister and brother… You are all urging me to go back. Advise me not to leave the house. Dad said the biggest mistake in my life was not teaching me how to be a person. Uncle said, if I don’t go home and start a family and career, my mother will drink pesticide. My uncle also said that I was going to marry out, and he and all his family would not go to my wedding…. How cool are these words to me?     Mom and dad, my closest and dearest family. Is the daughter’s happiness to grow up in a cage? And that cage is your attached rural feudal thought, and I am the prison slave inside. Am I doomed not to have my own love? What am I going to do?     I’m tired, tears.